A LIFE BUILT AROUND KINDNESS AND HELP FOR OTHERS

FERNE CRISTALL

Many persons of a certain age experienced a time of Sixties-style youthful radicalism that evolved over the years as they looked for other, more immediate and personal ways to work for the common good. 

Such was the case for Ferne Cristall, an amazing woman who died of cancer last spring and who engaged in an incredible life of kindness in the community through her large family, immigrants, students or simply people in need of her help.

This writer had the privilege of attending the warm and grateful Celebration of Life for Ferne in Peterborough, Ontario last Saturday. 

At the celebration, a young Syrian immigrant to Canada, Sidra Abdullah, summed up Cristall’s approach to living and helping others: “From the very first day we arrived in Canada, Ferne was there. She stepped into our lives with open arms and a heart full of warmth, ready to help with anything and everything we needed.

“No matter what it was, Ferne showed up, ready to lend a hand, offer love, and make life in Canada easier for my family and me. 

“She became so close to us that even a day or two without seeing or hearing from her felt like something was missing. That is how deeply she mattered to us,” said Sidra.

This writer got his start in journalism with Ferne’s husband, Robert Clarke when we were journalism students together at Carleton university. We have remained friends for over 50 years.

These past months have been very tough on Ferne, Rob, and their whole family, as Ferne fought a rare and painful type of cancer which eventually claimed her life.

Ferne grew up in the prairie town of Brandon, Manitoba. In the Lives Lived column written about her in the Toronto Globe and Mail last July, Ferne recalled: “I was a Jewish kid with an agnostic mother and atheist father in a Christian town.”

Although she was Jewish, she and many of her friends were strong supporters of a Palestinian State, just one of the causes she supported in Peterborough where she and Rob moved from Toronto.

The Lives Lived article, written by a long-time friend, Jamie Swift, relates that Ferne studied anthropology at Peterborough’s Trent University, taking time off for travelling in 1978 to the Central American country of Guatemala where a massive earthquake killed more than 24,000 people. Ferne stayed in the country to join in the recovery effort.

Later that year, Ferne joined the Development Education Centre (DEC), a Toronto-based group dedicated to the fight against global inequality. Ferne worked at DEC Films, distributing documentaries throughout Canada.

Meeting Rob Clarke at DEC, Ferne and Rob began a 45-year relationship that combined Ferne’s magnetic, outgoing personality with Rob’s wry wit and thoughtful writer/editor nature. Rob had a daughter, Gabe, from a previous marriage, and their son, Jonah, now a celebrated pianist, was born in 1983.
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The family moved to Peterborough, Robert’s hometown, in 1990. Ferne commuted to the University of Toronto to obtain her Bachelor of Education the following year. In Peterborough, film remained a vital part of her life as she was a key volunteer, year after year, at the ReFrame Film Festival.
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Ferne’s teaching career at a Peterborough vocational school focused on helping English language learners, especially newcomers. Her master’s thesis at Trent was based on the student efforts to save the school which was threatened with closure.
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The Celebration of Life was a tearful, yet affectionate affair, as speaker after speaker told stories of Ferne’s generosity and important community involvements.

The sad messages were interspersed with wonderful, uplifting music, including a group of singers and musicians who performed at Ferne and Rob’s home once a week in the last months of her life.

Jamie Swift wrote: “Through it all, Ferne kept apologising for causing so much trouble. Coming from a woman so accustomed to giving, the beguiling paradox wasn’t lost on those who knew her well.”

Sidra Abdullah

For her part, Sidra Abdullah concludes: “Just being near her brought peace. She gave endlessly, never asking for anything in return…Being around her felt safe. Being loved by her felt like home — and that’s exactly what she became to us.”

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